Mrs. Lump brought her small brown mixed breed dog, Buddy into the clinic. Mrs. Lump had a serious allegation involving Buddy. She stated that the vaccination given to him two weeks before had caused a lump. And she wanted surgery performed for free to remove the lump.
When I checked the lump there were two problems with Mrs. Lump's story. 1) The lump was a skin tag. Vaccines don't cause skin tags. 2) It was on the wrong side. Buddy's vaccination had been given on the right and the skin tag was on the left.
Mrs. Lump did not take the explanation well and continued to demand free surgery, even though the skin tag was the size of my pinky fingernail and did not even need to be removed. Mrs. Lump and I did not part on good terms.
Several days later, Mrs. Lump called, crying. She told the office manager that Buddy had been attacked and killed the night before by a Rottweiler. The office manager was quite sympathetic (despite how Mrs. Lump had treated everyone a few days before) because she knew how traumatic it was to have a pet die suddenly. The office manager put Mrs. Lump on the list to have a sympathy card sent and marked Buddy's record that he was now deceased.
Less than three minutes later a receptionist from Dr. Close's clinic calls.
Dr. Close's Receptionist: Hi, I just need to know if it's okay to refill heartworm preventative for Buddy Lump.
Office Manager: I'm sorry. Who is it for?
DCR: Buddy Lump. The owner says he was just seen at your clinic earlier this week.
OM: Can I verify the owner's name, address and phone number?
*All information matches Mrs. Lump*
OM: Are you sure this pet is alive? Because Mrs. Lump just called us a few minutes ago and told us Buddy had been killed by another dog last night.
DCR (uncertainly): Umm. Mr. Lump and Buddy are standing in our lobby right now.
OM: Okay. I'll fax all of Buddy's records to your clinic. Good luck.
The office manager crossed Buddy off the sympathy card list with a note that he had been resurrected.
*In real life this happened at a friend's clinic*
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