A dog breeder (a former client, thank God!) is the first person who comes to my mind when I think about those extra special clients. She had some good attributes. She wasn't overtly combative and she had good genetic quality dogs (under the stank). She was just the biggest pain in the ass I've ever had to deal with week after week and year after year. I'll call her PITA. She breeds a variety of small multi colored fluffy dogs (point in her favor - they were all AKC breeds, no yorki-poos or malti-poms) and had personally shown a small number of them to their Champion title (which blows my mind).
I have just walked into the clinic, haven't even set down my purse yet, and my technician comes running.
Tech: Guess who's on the schedule today!
Me: Oh, God. It's PITA, isn't it.
Tech: Yep. Says she's only bringing 4 puppies today, so she's booked into a 20 minute slot. Wanna make a bet on how many puppies she'll actually show up with? Tech2 says 6. I'm betting on 8.
Me: I'm gonna kill whoever booked her into 20 minutes, 'cause I'm with you. She'll bring 8.
*5 minutes after PITA's scheduled appointment time*
Me: She's late again!
Tech: Haven't you figured it out yet? She thinks 10 minutes late qualifies as on time.
Me: And someone only scheduled 20 minutes for her appointment. I bet she doesn't even make it into an exam room by the end of her slot.
*5 minutes later*
Receptionist: Which dogs did you bring today?
PITA: I have 4 puppies, Rocky, and 2 puppies from another litter.
R: Have we seen any of these dogs before?
PITA: Rocky. He needs a health certificate, but he doesn't need a Rabies shot because he had that last year.
R: What do the puppies need?
PITA: 2 need health certificates, 3 need exam certificates and the rest just need regular exams.
*5 minute conversation where receptionist tries to figure out which puppies need what. The answers continually change on who needs what and how many need each certificate. Receptionist eventually gives up.*
R: Do you have the Rabies tag or certificate for Rocky?
PITA: No. You should have record of it. It was done here.
R: When was it done?
PITA: Last year
R: Can you be more specific?
PITA: Fall, I think.
*1 minute of silence while receptionist scans through the records of the many dozens of dogs PITA brought in last year*
R: I can't find where we saw a Rocky anytime last year.
PITA: It was done here. I know it!
R: Let me look again.
*Another minute of silence*
R: No Rocky.
PITA: Oh, I know! I was calling him Chocolate last year. Try that name.
*Another minute of silence while receptionist looks over records a third time*
R: I don't see a Chocolate either.
PITA: I know he's already had a Rabies shot. Hmm. Try Peppy. I called him Peppy too.
*Another minute of silence*
R: Peppy had a Rabies vaccination last April.
PITA: There, I knew he'd had one.
PITA enters the exam room with 1 minute of her appointment time left, 7 dogs to be examined and an unknown amount of paperwork to be filled out.
To be continued...
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